Memorial Day Murph

 

Official Murph (time limit 60 minutes) named for Lt Michael Murphy

  • 1 mile
  • 100 pullups
  • 200 merkins
  • 300 squats
  • 1 mile

With 20# weight vest

Running Options

  • 2 laps around ymca block = 1 mile
  • 6 laps around burry park field = 1 mile
  • Run to Lawton Park and use their monkey bars =1 mile each way
  • Rabbits can run to Farsight and use their monkey bars = 1.8 miles each way

Break sets/laps up any way you like.

Modify: Assisted pullups or dips on a bench

If finished early, start on the following until time is called:

  • 100 burpees
  • 100 4-count flutter kicks
  • Run laps around Burry Park

COT

  • Count-o-rama
  • Name-o-rama
  • Devo (Radar)
  • Pledge of Allegiance

 

On June 28, 2005, Lt. Murphy was the officer-in-charge of a four-man SEAL element in support of Operation Red Wing tasked with finding key anti-coalition militia commander near Asadabad, Afghanistan. Shortly after inserting into the objective area, the SEALs were spotted by three goat herders who were initially detained and then released. It is believed the goat herders immediately reported the SEALs’ presence to Taliban fighters.

A fierce gun battle ensued on the steep face of the mountain between the SEALs and a much larger enemy force. Despite the intensity of the firefight and suffering grave gunshot wounds himself, Murphy is credited with risking his own life to save the lives of his teammates. Murphy, intent on making contact with headquarters, but realizing this would be impossible in the extreme terrain where they were fighting, unhesitatingly and with complete disregard for his own life moved into the open, where he could gain a better position to transmit a call to get help for his men.

Moving away from the protective mountain rocks, he knowingly exposed himself to increased enemy gunfire. This deliberate and heroic act deprived him of cover and made him a target for the enemy. While continuing to be fired upon, Murphy made contact with the SOF Quick Reaction Force at Bagram Air Base and requested assistance. He calmly provided his unit’s location and the size of the enemy force while requesting immediate support for his team. At one point, he was shot in the back causing him to drop the transmitter. Murphy picked it back up, completed the call and continued firing at the enemy who was closing in. Severely wounded, Lt. Murphy returned to his cover position with his men and continued the battle.

As a result of Murphy’s call, an MH-47 Chinook helicopter, with eight additional SEALs and eight Army Night Stalkers aboard, was sent in as part of the QRF to extract the four embattled SEALs. As the Chinook drew nearer to the fight, a rocket-propelled grenade hit the helicopter, causing it to crash and killing all 16 men aboard.

On the ground and nearly out of ammunition, the four SEALs, continued to fight. By the end of a two-hour gunfight that careened through the hills and over cliffs, Murphy, Gunner’s Mate 2nd Class (SEAL) Danny Dietz and Sonar Technician 2nd Class (SEAL) Matthew Axelson had fallen. An estimated 35 Taliban were also dead. The fourth SEAL, Hospital Corpsman 2nd Class (SEAL) Marcus Luttrell, was blasted over a ridge by a rocket-propelled grenade and knocked unconscious. Though severely wounded, the fourth SEAL and sole survivor, Luttrell, was able to evade the enemy for nearly a day; after which local nationals came to his aide, carrying him to a nearby village where they kept him for three more days. Luttrell was rescued by U.S. Forces on July 2, 2005.

By his undaunted courage, intrepid fighting spirit and inspirational devotion to his men in the face of certain death, Lt. Murphy was able to relay the position of his unit, an act that ultimately led to the rescue of Luttrell and the recovery of the remains of the three who were killed in the battle.

4

Christmas in April 2018 AAR

“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.” – Edward Everett Hale

Today F3Hartsville learned some valuable lessons:

  • We are a strong pax.
  • We can accomplish a lot in a relatively short span of time.
  • We have a variety of skills, except Skinny Pete, who doesn’t seem to know how to do anything.

What we did at 616 Howard St:

  • Replaced 6 windows
  • Insulated and sealed all the windows and added trim on the exterior
  • Installed privacy door lock on the bathroom door
  • Installed exterior door lock on the back door
  • Added a full master suite with Jacuzzi tub and Italian marble rain water shower

What we did at Marion St. Cemetery:

  • Spread mulch
  • Clear debris
  • Lean on shovels
  • Eat coffee and donuts

After a light workout Q’d by Little Jack, which basically consisted of high fives and several heated contests of Miss Mary Mack, YHC was ready to get the pax moving in the right direction.

We had a problem with Benchwarmer who viciously tried to usurp YHC’s authority and speak out nonsense. YHC quickly chastened him back into his place. (previous version used sterner language that may be inappropriate for sensitive ears)

We all met for coffeeteria at 616 Howard St. Ruth’s Drive-In provided coffee and biscuits. Miraculously Stallion showed up for food and the group pic immediately afterward. Nobody saw him after that. He mumbled something about checking out other Christmas in April sites to see what kind of food they had.

YHC wisely and shrewdly separated the intelligent pax from the grunt labor. This didn’t take long. Basically anybody that brought a tool was on the Howard St. job, while the inmates were assigned to the mulch pile chain gang.

YHC took all the skilled labor pax through a comprehensive Power Point presentation on worker safety and best practices, as well as an in-depth discussion on each step of the window replacement process. Immediately after the presentation, every single pax asked YHC the same exact questions that were discussed ad nauseum just 2 seconds before. YHC began to question the wisdom of committing to a work project that required some element of intelligence and construction acumen. Fortunately YHC has unlimited patience and endured the trial of a bunch of little kindergarten kids asking the same questions over and over again.

Soon enough, we had 4 window teams working simultaneously, just like YHC had envisioned back when he and Krispy Kreme replaced the first window as a test run. T-claps to Krispy for helping organize this whole event. He put together the shopping list and measured out the window sizes. His work behind the scenes made the job possible.

Head, LoveBug and Lee Murph took on one window. PurdyMouth and Audit tackled another. Sludge, Cowboy and Gutterball jumped on one. Twinkle Toes and Audit’s 2.0 took the hardest one of all, because it was partially behind a rickety kitchen counter.

Meanwhile, this happened at the mulch pile:

 

I was truly honored to be a part of Christmas in April with F3. We got a lot of work done and tore down some barriers along the way. My dream is to have an AO in Pride Park or somewhere in that neighborhood. Today was a step in the right direction.

All the pax worked hard and worked together. One of the town volunteers helping with the cemetery was named Willie. He is 80 years old and was slinging mulch alongside everybody else. He lamented that his community wasn’t taking care of the cemetery. What he meant was the “black community”. I cut him off and told him his community was out here right now. There can no longer be a white community and a black community. It may seem strange to say, but a cemetery is the perfect place to begin stitching our town together. The graveyard is a collection of stories. Marion St. Cemetery was lost for decades due to neglect and apathy, but these stories are emerging once again. They must be told. They must be shared. Too often we try to bury our past without acknowledging and growing from it.

The next logical step is to create a shared story among the living. Working shoulder to shoulder in the hot sun or repairing an elderly couple’s home is a powerful way to unite people. We follow the same structure in F3. Show up in the gloom and do stupid stuff, while all the sad clowns sleep. What happens in the gloom, however, is community. We have the secret sauce.

Aye!

 

7

Christmas in April Pre-Blast

Here’s the details:

Date: Saturday, April 28

Time: After Convergence (coffee and biscuits will be provided)

Place: From WarZone to 616 Howard St.

Directions: Take 6th St to Marion Avenue. Right on Marion. First house on the right just after Pride Park. (This is the back of the house)

THE THANG

PROJECT PANE

We are going to be replacing 6 windows, 1 exterior door and 3 door locks for Dolly Wright and her husband. She is as sweet as a 50# bag of sugar, and I can’t wait to help her out. Their home is old and breezy. New windows will provide better insulation than the plastic she has tacked up over the original windows. Currently her back door is an interior hollow core door, which provides zero security and not much more insulation value. Her front and rear doors have no deadbolts and old handles. Her bathroom door has no handle at all. #awkward

Tools: Hammer, flat bar, screwdrivers, level, pliers, cordless drill, sawzall.

PROJECT COVERUP

Donkey Lips put us on to another project that is just down the street. There is a 100+ year old cemetery at the end of Marion Avenue that was literally covered up by trees and undergrowth. Volunteers have begun to bring it back to where it should be, but now they need some heavy lifting. F3 is tasked with laying a thick bed of mulch over the entire plot of land to kill off the vegetation. We need strong backs and weak minds.

Tools: Wheelbarrows, shovels, rakes, pitchforks, pruning shears, maybe a chainsaw or two.

THE BIG PICTURE

F3’s mission is to plant, grow and serve  small workout groups to invigorate male community leadership. Service is a major component of leadership. It is one of my burning desires to build bridges. Across race, age, creed, nationality,  basically any gulf between “US” and “THEM”. Working on these projects gives “us” a huge opportunity to reach “them”. How many sad clowns live within a 1000′ radius of these two projects? How many lives can we impact by leveraging a little bit of our time to help others?

Join us. Sign up and show up.

Aye!

3

Against The Wind

YHC didn’t plan it this way, but todays theme turned out to be “Against the wind.” Yes, the weather was windy.  But that had nothing on the Category 5 tornado of toots and the longwinded mumblechatter from the PAX.  Even a stirring quote by the late Barbara Bush couldn’t muffle the PAX this am.  SMH

Warmup

As Chainsaw heads to the flag to circle up the first shots are fired of Fart-mageddon.

Warmup exercises consist of SSH, Windmills, Copperhead Plyo Jump Squats (I made that up), Merkins, all IC in various quantities like 23, 11, 16, 8, etc.

The PAX were left to wonder, are these numbers from a “Clemson score”, “number of times Stallion has missed a workout this month”, “winning lottery ticket”, or “number of times BA was killed today by Paula Dean” etc. Well, only savants like Woodchip and YHC can truly understand this level of advanced mathematics.  The rest of you will be left to wonder.

The Main THANG

Mosey to block pile. The only reasonable explanation YHC can give for today’s flurry of flatulence is that maybe Baby Beasley invited the PAX over for his trademark pre-workout meal of cabbage and deviled eggs???

  1. Thrusters/Merkins sets of 21, 15, 9 reps hold 6″ on the 6
  2. Goblet squats/kettlebell swings sets of 21, 15, 9 reps Air chair on the 6
  3. Triceps/Upright Rows sets of 21, 15, 9 reps Flutter kicks on the 6
  4. Lunges w/block OH/Burpees over the block sets of 21, 15, 9 reps Leg raises on the 6

Put blocks up and line up at the first light pole for 75 yd sprints X 10 with 30 second rest between. 1st & 2nd place winners of the heats were rewarded with a tire to pull.  Although it was a weak field, Skinny Pete let us know he won his division again.

Mosey back to the flag for Mary

Mary—plankorama on the 6, various ab exercises

Announcements

Mudrun 5/19, Prefontaine tomorrow at Byerly track, Christmas in April 4/28, F3 camping trip 4/28

Moleskin

Full disclosure here: YHC ripped off the main portion of the Q from one posted by F3 Chaser the other day on Twitter.  It looked pretty decent on paper, but honestly YHC was a little disappointed, especially after Stepshow’s suckfest on Tuesday.  YHC even added another round to try to give it a little more umphh.  Oh well…

During announcements, the Pax asked Stallion about Tuesdays Operation Arousal to get him out of bed, but he quickly deferred to Chief Arouser, Judge Judy. Stallion then quickly took back over, telling his version of the story which included details about his underwear, the status of his “wood” and what kind of blanky he was using.  It started getting out of hand, even without Barfly present, so the Q finally had to cap off the announcements to allow time for the Devo.

Devo mentioned a couple of recent events: freak fatal accident on Southwest airlines flight and HMS lockdown yesterday.  A quote from Barbara Bush “At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal.  You will regret time not spent with a spouse, a friend, a child, or a parent.”  Take time to love those close to you.

Aye!

Groundblind

9

Rucking, Clinic Style

WARM-UP:  Mosey to Brick Pile

 

THE THANG:

x75 mountain climbers

x50 merkins

x25 burpees

½ mile run (Rabbits wore rucks)

 

x75 mountain climbers

x50 merkins

x25 burpees

x15 pull-ups

½ mile run (Rabbits wore rucks)

 

x75 mountain climbers

x50 merkins

x25 burpees

½ mile run

 

x75 mountain climbers

x50 merkins

x25 burpees

½ mile run

*Most had this round cut short due to time.

 

First 6 finishers grabbed sandbag and run it to “lava flow”, dropped sandbag and drug tire back.

 

Mosey back from Brick Pike carrying ruck.

Burpees on the six

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Lil Sweet’s band “Prettier Than Matt” playing downtown at 6::00.  F3 HH is there.  Stallion is bringing bourbon and bologna to share.

2.0 campout 4/28

Sign up for MudRun

3-year anniversary Saturday night.  Go Big or Go Home Hartsville reunion after that.  Proceeds go to DCSD Education Foundation.

Congratulations Paula Dean on new office “The Children’s Group” up and running and looks great.  Paula D declared would have been open a month ago if not for  Stallion’s IT work.  Seems bologna fried the circuit board.

Prefontaine and Curahee in a.m.

 

MOLESKIN:

In attempt to neutralize the rabbits, I had them wear rucks for the first mile of the workout.  Early into my first mile I see Groundblind way off in the distance and thought to myself, “He’s a damn beast”.   Next thing I know, I hear footsteps coming up from behind and then killed me as he ran by.  It was Groundblind?  How could this be?   Had I somehow been lapped.  I first thought to myself what Winkles must often think when we workout…. “Damn, I suck!”  Then I realized it was not Groundblind that had been up front, but none other than Woodchip.  Never the less, I could tell ole Groundblind was on a mission to catch him and pick off everyone in between.  Turns out I was wrong on his intentions, he was actually sprinting towards a hopeful to be open bathroom to cut some rucking weight.  After a 20-minute air chair, Groundblind returned to the course still maintaining an 18-minute lead on Stallion.

Prior to our warm-up mosey, I said that little “I’m not a professional” so you can’t sue me thing.  Impeccably planning every detail of my workout and caring about the well fair of my men, I also told them, “Should you need medical attention, we do have a professional.”  The problem there was that I mistakenly pointed across the gloom to Blockbuster instead of Paula Dean.  Not my fault as both look similarly grotesque standing there in the darkness.  Turns out we were okay as Blockbuster has been trained in mouth to mouth resuscitation.  Winkles faked passing out three times.

Many Thunder Claps today…………….

T-Claps to Stallion who as part of his HTL training did not pick up a ruck for any portion of the workout.

T-Claps Southern Bell for not collecting another 2nd place trophy.  No shame finishing outside of the top seven.  One does not become a Clinic man overnight.   Chin up.

T-Claps to Bencharmer on only being killed 12 times today, bettering a previous best of 14.

T-Claps Free P on slapping Benchwarmer on the ass when you killed him. You are going to fit in just fine here.  Clinic Strong!

T-Claps to StepShow & Baby Beasley for faking injuries just to avoid running a mile with the ruck.  Those two will do anything to win.

T-Claps to Pinocchio, who was the only Churchill rock star in attendance for having the courage to cut off the drinking at midnight in order to make the workout.  Dilly dilly!

T-Claps Cadet Lukie for rejoining The Clinic Corps of Bad Asses.   Usually those golf Cadets skip everything hard.

T-Claps Judge Judy for not wearing those green spandex camel toe volleyball shorts.  Let’s hold off there big fella until you shed a little more of that baby weight.

D.H.O.T.W candidate = Skinnny Pete.   On mosey back to AO wearing rucks, I may have run up on he and Stallion and encouraged them to run, but told Skinny P, “Be careful with your knee.”  To that, Stallion replied, “What about my knee?” to which I replied, “You’re fine, you’re healthy (huge overstatement there)”.   That’s when Skinny Pete said, “Don’t strain a stomach muscle Stallion.”

More D.H.O.T.W. candidates = The entire Clinic for locking Free P’s keys in the car and then leaving him there all alone.  At least we waited for Southern Bell at The Temple when he locked his keys in his car right beside his Skinny Girl vitamin water.

A special thanks to Radar for putting up with the constant immature mumble chatter expelled by most of those Clinic d#ckh#ads.  I know man, drives me crazy too.

A special thanks from Woodchip to Coach Stepshow.  After the 1st mile, I was explaining to Woodchip and Lil Sweet that we didn’t have to run with the ruck for the second mile.  Upon hearing that, Lil Sweet ripped off that little red kid’s backpack faster than he and Dumper normally strip shirts.  Woodchip paid the price being a little slow on the draw.  Just as he has shimmied one arm out of his ruck, coach StepShow spoke up and said, “Real men wear their ruck the entire time.”  Sucks for you Leon!  The Sweet One and I took off as we were done with those things.  Knowing he had no chance to get within a half a mile of us, Woodchip accepted defeat and continued trotting around the track with the ruck.

Also, a special thanks to Stallion for supplying 8 of the 12 rucks we had for the workout.  He even included his child’s red book bag that was a little too large for Lil Sweet to carry.

 

 

DEVO

The devo book I try to read from each day is written by a retired country doctor.  In the one I read yesterday, he recalled how one year his rehab facility won an award for “Best Customer Care of Patients”.  The doctor was proud and went to his employees and asked them how they thought they won the award.  They told him, “We’re a family and we treat our patients like family.”   He was also pleased that no one he went to talked about what they had done, but instead pointed out something someone else had done.  They cited examples of things like a housekeeper who brought water to thirsty patients even though it wasn’t her job or the nurse who would stick around well after her long shift was over just to listen to stroke victims who just wanted someone to talk with.  The doctor thought to himself how his staff had treated others as themselves.

Recently, Wall-E was at my house and asked, “Now that you’re not working, what is your purpose?”  I didn’t know how to answer that, because I didn’t know wat the answer was.  Back when I was working, I had the opportunity to make an impact every day with kids, teachers, and parents.  Now, I’m just not around many people.  How can I make an impact?

I put Benchwarmer on the spot and asked him to share what he did a couple months back volunteering for an event sponsored by The Tim Tebow Foundation.   Essentially, he was like a sponsor for a special needs person for a Prom like event.  He danced and did things like that that are way out of his comfort zone, but did it for a great cause and made a difference.

Whether or not your occupation and life give you opportunities to get involved in things to make a positive difference, go out and find them.  Get involved.   Make a difference.

 

 

respectfully submitted by Bowtie

6

Suns out, Dorks out

Weather- Foggy and warm

Spring break started this week, so that meant all the cool guys left on their private yachts. It was up to the dorks to carry on the proud name of The Clinic.   The Clinic dorks look to me as their leader. I could not let them down, so I took the Q.

WARMUP:

SSH x 20

Windmills stopped at 16 when Judy complained.

Mosey to BC parking lot.

THE THANG:

1 minute of Merkins AMRAP

Block sliders to the other end of parking lot.  4 burpees at 1st light pole, 3 burpees at 2nd, 2 burpees at 3rd, 1 burpee at end.

Partner up. 100 burpees total. 1 partner runs 10 yards and back while other partner does burpees. Switch out until done.

Mosey to track

15 minute modified “Temple”-20 squats, LBCs, merkins then run a lap then 15 of each run a lap then 10 of each run a lap then 5 of each run a lap.  Goal was to finish in 15 minutes. Finishers were The Denominator (Murph), Southern Belle, and Judy

Mosey back to brick pile

11s- start at one end of parking lot 10 V-ups to 1 Big boy run to other end

9 to 2 run back

8 to 3 run

7 to 4 run

and so on…

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

3 year anniversary party at Last Rites on 4/14- everyone needs to RSVP

Awards Nominations

Mud Run

Christmas in April sign up

DEVO:

I’ve heard people say that God never gives you more than you can handle.  I don’t think God is concerned with how much we can handle.  God loves us even though we do not deserve his love.  I think that we can handle all things because of God.  We aren’t the important ones.  God is!!

FNG

No FNGs but we re-named Paula Dean.  He is now called The BA.

MOLESKIN:

Stallion- After proclaiming that he was motivated to hit it hard again, he forgot to actually come to the workout.

Paula Dean aka The BA- gave me a cussing for asking him to help me and Southern Belle finish our burpees.  He was on a team of 3

The Denominator- just found out he’s a Clinic dork.  He actually thought he was cool.

Southern Belle- Petey Joe sees a lot of potential here.  I may have to mold him into greatness like Lil Smokey

Chainsaw- left at 529

Winkles- Wore his white socks with sandals to workout.

Pinocchio- made it to workout after driving all night from San Antonio

Judge Judy- dropped from cool guys cliche after they found out he was a lightweight

The Stepper- not actually cool.  He drives the boat

Lil Sweet- carried a bag of seed 300 yards since my dork workout was too easy

Barfly- was cool back in the 80s

 

 

 

6

GIVE ME BACK MY DAMN MEDAL

 

CONDITIONS:  Perfect (59 and dry)

 

WARMUP:

At 0440, I jogged excitedly through the water park construction site to the new stair tower that has for days attracted my attention.  I cannot lie, I was excited and had cruel intentions.   Wasn’t worried about bolts and stuff possibly not being in place as I knew I was going to be saying, “My name’s Bowtie and I’m not a professional.”  Although I had all the liability stuff covered, upon reaching the base of the stairs, I realized a locked gate had for some strange reason been placed at the bottom of the stairs.  I also saw the waterslide height requirement and realized Lil Sweet wouldn’t be able to participate.  On to plan B.

Plan B:  2 lap mosey around parking lot

 

THE THANG:

50     mountain climbers

40     derkins

30     big-boys

20     kettle bell swings

10     block burpees

20     kettle bell swings

30     big-boys

40     derkins

50     mountain climbers

 

Sandbag run to stupid new water park and back

 

Burpee Suicides:  Bear crawl to cone 10 yards away, run back, knock out x5 burpees, and repeat until x50 burpees complete (x10 sets)

 

Sandbag run to stupid new water park and back

 

Donkey Kick Suicides:  Run to cone 10 yards away, run back, knock out x5 donkey kicks, and repeat until x50 donkey kicks complete (x10 sets)

 

Sandbag run to stupid new water park and back

 

50     mountain climbers

40     derkins

30     big-boys

20     kettlle bell swings

10     block burpees

20     kettle bell swings

30     big-boys

40     derkins

50     mountain climbers

 

Sandbag run to stupid new water park and back

 

30 Second Sprints:  Sprint fast as can go around 4 cone rectangle for 30 seconds, 25 second break, 30 second sprint, 20 second bread, 30 second sprint, 15 second break, 30 second sprint, 10 second break, 30 second sprint.

 

MARY:

Big-Boys:  As many as you can do in 1 minute.

 

ANNOUUNCEMMENTS:

Good  Friday workout Friday @0530

HH today Mac’s  @5:30

 

PRAYER REQUESTS

none

 

MOLESKIN:

Last weekend, many of us ran a little race called the P200.   Upon returning to Hartsville, one of us was still too drunk to gather up his stuff and left his prestigious P200 medal on the van.  Though I’m not quite as good a buddy as photo evidence might suggest, I am a good friend.  Being that kind of guy, I took the medal home for safekeeping.  Rather than thanking me for my thoughtfulness, Lil Sweet about had a damn conniption trying to get his medal back.  Understanding it was Lil Sweet’s first athletic medal and also remembering a house in my neighborhood got broken into a couple of years back, I gave the medal (the “major award”) to BarFly for safekeeping.   Knowing how important this shiny neck swag was to Lil Sweet, BarFly kept it safe and close to him wearing it all day as he showered, ate a celebratory breakfast, posed with chics, got truck oil changed, signed autographs, posed with chics yet again, celebrated at Mac’s, and snuggled up in bed with his teddy.

At 0530 this morning, the Sweet One had yet to appear.  It was then that we determined Groundblind would wear it to the pooper for selfie pics when he broke off for his mid-workout bowel movement.

In a desperate attempt to get back what was rightfully his, we see a little white Jeep stroll around the corner around 0534 up on two wheels moving faster than that girl who killed him right in front of us at the P200.

Since he was so adamant we give back his race ribbon, we obliged, but also gave out some additional awards to the men of The Clinic.

 

“Master Motivator Award”:  Just prior to us running our first leg at the P200, Life Coach Leon Murph (aka Woodchip) sends Benchwarmer a video message and just to make sure he receives it, also sends it to vanmates Bowtie, Groundblind, and Lil Sweet.  The heartfelt video message to Benchwarmer was as follows: “Hey Holt, don’t get frustrated no matter how many times you get killed this weekend.  It’s okay.  Finish your race.  Just run your race.  Don’t worry about all the kills adding up against you.   Push through”.

“Promotion Award”:  After recording no kills for the second straight year, Benchwarmer has been “promoted” to 2019 P200 IYAFYL van driver.  Congratulations man, you earned it!

“Ordinary Effort Award”:   Unlike the screaming tirades displayed at his daughter’s travel soccer games, that same intensity just wasn’t there this morning as Winkles allowed Paula Dean to kill and talk sh@t to him over and over and over again.

Looking the Part Award”:  As soon as he stepped out of the Volvo sedan, you knew StepShow meant business.  With not a hair on his head out of place, he just looked the part of a well-groomed champion about to step into the Clinic octagon.

Sexiest Man Alive at the Children’s Group”:  Paula Dean wins again!   7 weeks in a row!!

Oldest Man Present atThe Clinic Award”:   In a landslide, Baby Beasley (Bzzzzz) wins the award.  Way to be 3rd Radar.

Everyone’s a winner!!

T-Claps to Chainsaw who pushed through despite recently suffering a vicious ass injury.

 

FARTSACKERS:

Stallion: Not wanting to break his 10-month streak of making 0-1 workouts a week, Stallion, his hurt toe, and a stack of fresh bologna sandwiches stayed home. Streak still safely intact.

Skinny Pete:  Was up getting dressing when realized was out of nipple tape and knew he had to pull the plug.

Southern Bell:  Comes Tuesday and then heads back to his comfort zone.  No worries man, Clinic workouts are too tough for a bunch of guys.

Pinocchio:  An early night at Sam Kendall’s turned into a late night when at the advice of Lil Sweet, Pinocchio pops the waitress on the ass and says, “I’ll take a bottle of your finest Mike’s Hard Lemonade.”  Next thing you know, he’s saying inappropriate things to women, trying to kiss dudes on the cheek, and waking up at 10:00 a.m. claiming to remember nothing.  As Bo Norris once told me, “That stuff is the s@i#!”

Lucky Charms:  An early afternoon at Mac’s turned into a late night when at the advice of Pathfinder, Lucky Charms pops BarFly on the ass and says, “I’ll take a bottle of your finest Natural Light.”  Next thing you know, he’s texting inappropriate pictures of himself to Pinocchio, trying to kiss dudes on the cheek, and waking up at 10:00 a.m. claiming to not know why he and Pinocchio were snuggled up in the front yard.  As Paperboy once told me, “That stuff is the s@i#!”

 

Lukie:  Is on strike vowing not to return until Stallion, Skinny Pete, and Tater Salad return.

Radar:  So disappointing!  The least you can do now is whip the other fartsacker’s asses at Revolution this afternoon.  Don’t push too hard and beat anyone bad or someone will rationalize that ass kicking claiming you had “bad form”.

Beast Lite:  Broke hand punching wall in jealous rage after taking BarFly out to breakfast and seeing all the rock star attention he got from his major award.

Judge Judy:  M put him on house arrest after he contaminated his breast milk Saturday with a blood alcohol level 12 times the legal limit.

EPO:  Lying in bed staring at calendar trying to figure out when he can make it back to Hartsville to give his bestie Chainsaw a big ole long hug.

Postal:  Up early reading new Clinic publication “How to Become a Dickhead for Dummies”.

Fender & Smokey:  Co-Q’ing Zumba workout for new Florence buddies.

TinMan:  Deceased

SplashPad:  Rumored not deceased

 

DEVO:

A couple of weeks ago, Wall-E came by the house to talk Christmas in April and more so to brainstorm about a F3 / teenager leadership partnership.  As we wrapped up, Wall-E asked me, “How are you doing?”  I knew he asking about me medically/emotionally.  I told him I was doing well as that was/is the case.  We talked about me no longer working and he asked, “Have you found your purpose, your calling?”  That stumped me a bit as even though I had been thinking about what might be next for me, I was/am still trying to figure it all out.

A couple of days later, I took my daughter Kaiti to a 5K race in Columbia.  After the race we were walking around looking at the few booths that were set up.  As we approached one for “Orange Theory Fitness”, I noticed they had a bunch of hats on their table.  Always needing a hat, I asked Kaiti to go get me one.  After doing so, we learn that it’s going to be about an hour until awards.   It’s cold and beginning to rain a little.  Being a typical girl who doesn’t want to mess up her hair, Kaiti puts on the new hat and we walk down Devine to a Starbucks there in Five Points.  Inside, waiting in line, I tell her I like the hat, but paid no attention to what was written on it.   That’s when she took it off and reads it out loud……”#IBurnForALS.  My stomach drops as my kids know I have a muscle disease, but not ALS.  Kaiti said, “What’s ALS”.  I quickly made up something not true and she went on cluelessly wearing the hat.

How random was that? Do random things happen?   Sure they do, but in the past year and a half, I have had more things like that happen than I can count.  Do I think this was random?   No.  Of all the thousands  of things that could have been on that hat, why “ALS”?

The next Monday morning, I was sitting at my kitchen table sipping some coffee.  While, Lil Sweet accuses me of spending my mornings watching Dr. Phil, I actually now try starting out my post-workout day with a devo and some scripture reading.   After doing so and reflecting that morning, I thought about and went to get the hat.  “#IBurnForALS”.   What is “Orange Theory Fitness” and what is their connection to ALS?   Well, it turns out they are a fitness company (series of gyms) who recently partnered with “Augie’s Quest” to raise 2 million dollars to help find a cure for or medicines to treat ALS.  http://augiesquest.als.net/otf/

 

Researching Orange Theory Fitness and Augie’s Quest led me to The South Carolina ALS Association’s website.   I researched the site and called the association.   That morning, I decided I’m going to do an ALS walk in Columbia  September 22nd and in doing so am going to do my part in raising money for ALS research.  My mom did one of those in Greenville and raised money earlier this year.  At the time, I was not ready to see those with ALS usingwheelchairs and walkers.  I have slowly been feeling this call and a nonrandom question from Wall-E and a nonrandom hat gave me the push I needed.

Psalms 32:8 says, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go.  I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”    I know God has a plan for me and for you.  It is my hope that I listen and do not resist where he leads me.

God is good.  It is my hope that you attend church Easter Sunday and maybe more important in the next few days do some reflection on all God has blessed you with and give thanks to him for that.  StepShow shared something with me a week or so ago he had seen that stuck with me and made a lot of  sense……. “You say you want to spend eternity with God, but you can’t give him one hour a week?  Powerful.

 

 

 

 

 

respectfully submitted by Bowtie

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2018 Mud Run

When: May 19th 2018

Where: 1215 Valley Ridge Road Gaston, SC 29053

The Thang:

It is that time of year again. Time for another CSAUP, the Mud Run. Last year F3 was around 300 of the total runners on the course, with IYAFYL coming in 2nd place (thus making them last by their own motto). This year we will expect more from them and more of you! We need all Hartsville Pax to sign up, take the challenge head on. There are 146 Pax on Convergence lets shoot for getting 80 of you  to sign up! You can Ruck, Run, Walk or Bear crawl through this obstacle course of rope swings, over/unders, that crazy pyramid log challenge. Typically this event is run in teams of four, if you do not have a team sign up anyway and we will place you on a team. This is a test of all the great things F3 can do in a mans life. Grab your teammates and get signed up by following the link here: http://f3summerville.com/mud-run-f3-nation/

We need to turn out in force. If you are not inspired by the fun of the run, be inspired by the food and annual beer boat which will be the cause for a continuation of the Bowtie-Lil Sweet “trip to the woods.” I look forward to seeing all of you at this great event.

 

Cost: $60

Benefits: Unlimited!

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EGAM > IYAFYL

YHC has been making the rounds of all the AO’s dropping truth bombs, handing out wisdom like a coke dealer on a New York City playground. Most pax just stare in awe when YHC starts talking. It used to make me uncomfortable, but now YHC just accepts it as a necessary cross to bear. Today’s blessed recipients were the Clinic pax. When YHC arrived, they were all standing around like school girls about to meet a rock star. Bowtie asked YHC for an autograph. He already has about 10 of them. #embarrassing

The Thang

Evidently The Clinic is populated with pink-o communists and left wing dissenters, because nobody had an American flag. StepShow asked me to be dictator for life. While this is understandable and even appropriate on some levels, YHC knew better than to accept the nomination. #Iam3rd

We started with Slow Merkins x 25. The Clinic is not used to doing these types of exercises. They have trouble counting. They have trouble doing Merkins. Paula Dean kept making slightly erotic grunting noises, which proved quite a distraction for Pinocchio. This was going to be a long Q. YHC could already tell. #omens

Slow Squat Explosions x 15. The pax were instructed to get into the squat formation and hold until YHC called for the Explosion, which is a leap into the air. The Clinic pax once again demonstrated their need for strict, harsh and speedy discipline. Then it occurred to YHC that this was not just a lack of understanding, but a lack of ability as well. Sometimes YHC forgets that other humans cannot levitate. #humbled.

Electric Slide Squats x 15. YHC knows StepShow likes to boogie down, so YHC thought a dance routine would work well. SMH. The Clinic has rhythm like USC has a football team. You know something’s there, but it’s just not right.

After our little warm-up, we took an easy Indian Run mosey over to the brick pile. Each pax grabbed 2 blocks. Most of the pax had to make 2 trips to accomplish this. YHC had to show the Clinic pax where the brick pile was. Evidently nobody had ever told them it existed. #shameful.

Dora Round 1

Partner A Dairy carry the length of the parking lot.

Partner B Overhead Press x 200, Squats x 300, Monkey Humpers x 400

Again with the strange noises from Paula Dean, especially during the Monkey Humpers. YHC had to separate Paula Dean from FreePee who was not used to  such aggressive and lewd behavior.

Dora Round 2

Partner A Dairy carry

Partner B Chest Press x 200, Flutter x 300 (Dbl count), Jump lunge x 400 (Dbl count)

Woodchip and Winkles skinny-shamed Bowtie, who happened to be YHC’s partner for the Dora’s. Needless to say, YHC stepped in and roach-stomped their asses and left them curled up in the fetal position. Then YHC went over and bitch-slapped Bowtie for crying in public. StepShow said they handle it the same way at GSSM.  #goodtoknow.

After Dora, we put away the blocks and dropped straight down for a little Mary. Why not? We don’t have a flag to circle around, so any patch of grass will do.

Again with the counting and listening deficiencies. Box cutters would not mystify most kindergartners, but the Clinic is a very special group. Up. Out. Down. In. 10 count. With 2 educators and a doctor among the pax, they have more degrees than a thermometer, but they are about as useless as a screen door on a submarine.

Mosey back to the spot where the flag should have been. YHC gave Bowtie and Woodchip a 100yd head start and still left them behind. I’m not sure what the Clinic does on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s, but it must be more closely aligned with Paula Dean’s heavy breathing than working out.

YHC counted off for the pax. (See above issues)

Announcements and Devo

It has occurred to me over the last several weeks that we are becoming just like every other organization–comfortable among ourselves. While it is great to have a brotherhood and to see pax at parties, etc., we cannot allow our comfort to supplant our core mission.

The mission of F3 is to plant, grow and serve small workout groups for the invigoration of male community leadership.

Are we developing leaders? What is the test to see if that is case? In my opinion, leaders beget leaders. Leaders seek out others to develop. Leaders look for opportunities to grow and develop other leaders.

We must begin to look outward and find those SadClowns that live all around us.

As part of that initiative, we have two great opportunities to pursue. The first is Christmas in April, which is a community home repair project. We will be participating on April 28. More details and sign-up sheets to follow.

F3 will be partnering with Cypress Adventures over the next year to design, build and implement a full on Obstacle Course Race (OCR). Our pax will come alongside students who are part of Cypress Adventures to help them do the work. We will be actively developing leaders. More to come. Stay tuned.

After my rousing speech, every pax team received one of YHC’s medals from past glorious conquests. The message was simple. Medals and awards mean nothing. What matters is building relationships that last forever. #everyonegetsamedal

Aye.

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F3 Hartsville 3 Year Anniversary Shindig

Come one, come all!  Those who attended last year remember (if you didn’t hit the keg too hard) the fun we had shucking oysters and laughing at Tater Salad as he emceed the awards presentation.  Those of you who weren’t a part of this crazy thing we call F3 Hartsville last year, come get some great 2nd F with us this year.

What:

A party for all of F3 Hartsville AND the families of F3 Hartsville

Instead of oysters (since mid-April is a little warm for those), we will have lowcountry boil and BBQ for those who don’t eat seafood.  Libations will be provided by our very own Barfly.  Just bring an appetizer and yourself, your M and you 2.0s.  That’s right!  It’s family friendly.  And a great way to be able to recognize your fellow PAX in public while not wearing sweaty workout clothes.  It’s also a great way to get to know each other for something other than farting during flutter kicks!

Awards.  I did mention awards.  Divac will be sending out ballots shortly for your voting pleasure.  Don’t feel too bad if you don’t win one.  I know it’s hard for some (IYAFYL), but be a man about it.

When:

Saturday, April 14th 6:00pm. Come early to help set up if you can.

Where:

Casa de Last Rites.  1121 Pine Lake Drive, Hartsville

How:

RSVP here by 4/7: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1MooOZrey4WZZp-WGqrPBDRKnifmQMltl_2lPRIVgkAc/edit?usp=sharing  so we can know how many shrimp to get

Stay tuned for more updates as they develop!

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