CONDITIONS: Damp grass
WARMUPS: Benchwarmer started us off with some sissy warm-up stuff (more on that later). I took over. 1 lap around parking lot. Done.
THE THANG: Select a partner. Each group started at a different station. Partner 1 did the exercises. Partner 2 ran with wet sandbag around very large cone circle and then around a cone way off in the distance by itself. This cone was marked by a set of flashing Bo Norris balls that unbeknownst to me had been attached to my trailer hitch just 2 days prior. After returning from the exhausting long sandbag run, partner 1 and 2 switched. After both had gone, move to next cone and repeat.
Station 1: Block Sliders
Station 2: Tire Drag (run pulling tire)
Station 3: Burpees Under Rope: Burpee, dive under suspended rope, burpee, repeat
Station 4: Bear Crawl Dragging Tire
Station 5: Block Jump: Jump back and forth feet together over blocks stacked 2 high.
Station 6: Kettle Bell Swings / Rows: Do one exercise until cannot do anymore and then do second exercise
Station 7: Merkins On Chairs / Bench Dips On Chairs: For merkins and dips, one had was on each chair (2 chairs total) and feet on block. Do one exercise until cannot do anymore and then do second exercise
Station 8: Mountain Climbers / Jump lunges: Do one exercise until cannot do anymore and then do second exercise
Station 9: Flutter Kicks
Sprint: On go, men sprinted all the way around large cone circle (400 meters) left out in grass.
Tug of War: Divided into two teams. Best 2 out of 3. Losing team did x20 burpees. Winning team did x20 big-boy sit-ups.
My experience at The Clinic is often similar to mine at The Citadel (as was the case for fellow Bulldog bad asses Lukie and Winkles) where we break guys down to build them back up stronger. We push the mind and body to see if guys are strong or if they are weak. We take to GroupMe posting the heads of outspoken pax atop things that are arguably obscene. We tell the six to hurry the hell up because we are tired of doing burpees. Contrary to popular belief, we just crack jokes, make guys cry, plan Q’s that leave you gasping for air and wanting to quit, and do all this with the very deliberate purpose of building / developing men who are mentally, physically, and spiritually strong. This unique approach was on full display just before 0530 Thursday morning. Arriving at The Clinic at 0445, I just knew I had plenty of time to set up. All I had to do was put 11 cones in the right spot, set up x5 chairs, plant the flag, drop off x10 sandbags, and then driver over to Brick Pile to pick up x14 blocks and x6 tires. Piece of cake! Oh, and who knew 1 tire could hold enough water to completely soak my socks, shoes, pants, and front of shirt? Anyway, time began to tick. Fortunately, Arnold and Woodchip drove over to the brick pile to help me load up exactly 2 blocks. Thanks men. You were a life saver!
As I got back to The Clinic, it was really getting close to 0530. Knowing this, I drove around that field like Dale Earnhart. Of the 17 other men who had assembled, only StepShow jumped in the truck and helped me unload. Sixteen just watched and made comments about both the time and my sexual orientation. In humiliating fashion, Benchwarmer circled them up and began warmups as I was out putting the finishing touches on my most excellently planned Q. While a weaker man would have taken the lack of help, ugly remarks, and taking over of my Q as offensive, I did not as I knew these brothers were just trying to make me stronger and that it pained them deeply to make such ugly remarks. Iron sharpens iron and after that I was like a ginsu knife.
I’ll continue in the footsteps of my Clinic brothers as I move on in my backblast in my attempts to recall facts and to strengthen fellow men:
Sorry you had to see all that Dumper. Some of those boys are real bastards.
Welcome back Judge Judy, Postal, and Winkles as all return from some unexcused absences while their egos recovered from some recent ass cuttings. JJ and Postal at the hands of Lil Sweet via the Ashville Spartan. Winkles at the hands of his dog Chopper via The Temple.
Guys, please reach out The Stallion who on Tuesday missed due to a vicious Frisbee playing neck injury and missed Thursday because he knew we were running which is in strict violation of policy for his Pathfinder program. Postal is working on a meals sign-up sheet as we do not want him to drop lower than his current come to The Clinic once every two weeks status.
As a fun finish to what I hope was a challenging workout, I divided the men in half to battle best 2 out of 3 on the McBee Elementary School P.E. closet tug of war rope. On round 1, “Team Meat and Potatoes (Benchwarmer, Lukie, Groundblind, etc.) destroyed the competition. A not participating Radar, who was doing his own exercises over on the side, was summoned to help the devastated team of weaklings. Prior to that invitation, I can honestly say Radar is the only Marine I have ever known who does not mix profanity in with his normal speech the way Benchwarmer mixes in Michelob Ultra with all the rest of our manly beers at HH. I digress. Anyway, the streak has ended. When asked to join the team of weaklings, Radar shot off the way Paula Dean does we are doing burpees on the six stating “I don’t give a sh@t about those pathetic losers”. Who knew Radar was IYAFYL?
For the first time since I can remember, Clinic fashion comments had nothing to do with Bo “Flex Seal” Norris. Instead, post fashion comments were saved for PaperBoy who evidentially switched out his shoulder carry sandbag for the world’s largest leaky diaper. Someone said, “Looks like a bird took a shi#t on your shoulder.” Bird? Must have been a damn pterodactyl! Not to be outdone, Benchwarmer (aka Tubetop) steps out of the shadows to steal PaperBoy’s thunder. Leaky diapers and pterodactyl sh#t would not be the best descriptors. The front of his Clinic Strong shirt looked like he had been fireman carrying Baby Beasley who had proudly proclaimed he was “blocked up” and hadn’t been to the bathroom in 2 weeks.
Groundblind: Was going to give you a big T-Claps for making it all the way through the workout without conducting a bathroom sprint. That was before I saw Benchwarmer’s shirt and realized you must have just wiped your a@@ with it.
T-Claps BarFly. Unlike whoever chose Benchwarmer as a partner, you made an excellent selection in selecting a true world class athlete that is The Bowtie as a partner. The competition didn’t stand a chance.
Vladimir Putin (aka StepShow): With hair parted to other side, I almost didn’t recognize you out there. Anyway, thank you for the help this morning. The Clinic could use a few more nice guys like you and a few less verbal assassins like Woodchip and Chainsaw............No, not “Gerbil assassins” like Benchwarmer!
Fender: Good showing today for a Florence guy. I’ll get you one of our guys Winkles’ number. He can share his training plan.
Group of Pax Standing around after workout: Can you believe Farsight still hasn’t discovered that _______ spay painted their blocks neon pink!? That sh#t is funny as hell!”
Skinny Pete: Nice job “Stallioning” today.
Happy Hour @ 5:30 ($1 beer)
Fender moving September 2nd
Keep coming and EH’ing
“We were successful in turning EPO into a jerk like us before he moved.”
Little Jack’s Mom
Lucky Charms lost Uncle. Keep in thoughts and prayers
Radar’s sister-in-law having Polio infused into brain to fight cancer (clinical trial)
Will and Jessica Vaughn had 9 year old foster child pass
For me, being in church is never been where I feel most spiritual. I keep going hoping it will inspire and rekindle me, but rarely does it do that. For me, I feel most spiritual out in nature or going for a jog. Life is busy, but we all need to take moments to reflect. When I do that, I feel closest to God.
Because of changes in my life, this past year has been the time in my life where I have seen and felt God the most. I have shared at different times many things that have happened in the past year as it pertains to my faith that could not have been coincidences. God is always there, we just have to slow down and listen for him. An example I gave was from the previous weekend. My son Everett was in the kitchen. He was talking about something insignificant and said, “That is a miracle.” My middle child Ann Frances who reads the Bible on her own every day says, “Everett, God performs miracles every day, we just don’t always know he is performing them. It’s in The Bible”. Wow I thought and I reflected on that for a bit. How true! Every day in and of itself is a miracle. God performs miracles for us we do not even realize.
When we slow down, we can see God. When we slow down, we can hear God speaking to us through others. Last weekend, God spoke to me through Ann Frances. Wednesday morning, God spoke to me through Winkles’ closing prayer at The Temple. Often, if honest, I do not really listen to and definitely do not reflect on the prayer. For whatever reason, that day I did. That day, God spoke to me through Winkles’ excellent prayer and had an effect on me throughout the day. Keep coming to F3 so that you can influence others and be influenced by God through the voice of your brothers. Stop to listen. Make time to reflect.
Respectfully submitted by Bowtie