Stupid Leaky Sandbags

CONDITIONS: Damp grass


WARMUPS:  Benchwarmer started us off with some sissy warm-up stuff (more on that later).  I took over.  1 lap around parking lot.  Done.


THE THANG:  Select a partner.  Each group started at a different station.  Partner 1 did the exercises.  Partner 2 ran with wet sandbag around very large cone circle and then around a cone way off in the distance by itself.  This cone was marked by a set of flashing Bo Norris balls that unbeknownst to me had been attached to my trailer hitch just 2 days prior.  After returning from the exhausting long sandbag run, partner 1 and 2 switched.  After both had gone, move to next cone and repeat.

Station 1:  Block Sliders

Station 2:  Tire Drag (run pulling tire)

Station 3:  Burpees Under Rope:  Burpee, dive under suspended rope, burpee, repeat

Station 4:  Bear Crawl Dragging Tire

Station 5:  Block Jump:  Jump back and forth feet together over blocks stacked 2 high.

Station 6:  Kettle Bell Swings / Rows:   Do one exercise until cannot do anymore and then do second exercise

Station 7:  Merkins On Chairs / Bench Dips On Chairs:  For merkins and dips, one had was on each chair (2 chairs total) and feet on block.  Do one exercise until cannot do anymore and then do second exercise

Station 8:  Mountain Climbers / Jump lunges:  Do one exercise until cannot do anymore and then do second exercise

Station 9:  Flutter Kicks


Sprint:  On go, men sprinted all the way around large cone circle (400 meters) left out in grass.

Tug of War:  Divided into two teams.  Best 2 out of 3.  Losing team did x20 burpees.  Winning team did x20 big-boy sit-ups.



My experience at The Clinic is often similar to mine at The Citadel (as was the case for fellow Bulldog bad asses Lukie and Winkles) where we break guys down to build them back up stronger.  We push the mind and body to see if guys are strong or if they are weak.  We take to GroupMe posting the heads of outspoken pax atop things that are arguably obscene.  We tell the six to hurry the hell up because we are tired of doing burpees.  Contrary to popular belief, we just crack jokes, make guys cry, plan Q’s that leave you gasping for air and wanting to quit, and do all this with the very deliberate purpose of building / developing men who are mentally, physically, and spiritually strong.  This unique approach was on full display just before 0530 Thursday morning.  Arriving at The Clinic at 0445, I just knew I had plenty of time to set up.  All I had to do was put 11 cones in the right spot, set up x5 chairs, plant the flag, drop off x10 sandbags, and then driver over to Brick Pile to pick up x14 blocks and x6 tires.  Piece of cake!  Oh, and who knew 1 tire could hold enough water to completely soak my socks, shoes, pants, and front of shirt?  Anyway, time began to tick.  Fortunately, Arnold and Woodchip drove over to the brick pile to help me load up exactly 2 blocks.  Thanks men. You were a life saver!

As I got back to The Clinic, it was really getting close to 0530.  Knowing this, I drove around that field like Dale Earnhart.  Of the 17 other men who had assembled, only StepShow jumped in the truck and helped me unload.  Sixteen just watched and made comments about both the time and my sexual orientation.  In humiliating fashion, Benchwarmer circled them up and began warmups as I was out putting the finishing touches on my most excellently planned Q.  While a weaker man would have taken the lack of help, ugly remarks, and taking over of my Q as offensive, I did not as I knew these brothers were just trying to make me stronger and that it pained them deeply to make such ugly remarks.  Iron sharpens iron and after that I was like a ginsu knife.

I’ll continue in the footsteps of my Clinic brothers as I move on in my backblast in my attempts to recall facts and to strengthen fellow men:

Sorry you had to see all that Dumper.  Some of those boys are real bastards.

Welcome back Judge Judy, Postal, and Winkles as all return from some unexcused absences while their egos recovered from some recent ass cuttings.  JJ and Postal at the hands of Lil Sweet via the Ashville Spartan.  Winkles at the hands of his dog Chopper via The Temple.

Guys, please reach out The Stallion who on Tuesday missed due to a vicious Frisbee playing neck injury and missed Thursday because he knew we were running which is in strict violation of policy for his Pathfinder program.  Postal is working on a meals sign-up sheet as we do not want him to drop lower than his current come to The Clinic once every two weeks status.

As a fun finish to what I hope was a challenging workout, I divided the men in half to battle best 2 out of 3 on the McBee Elementary School P.E. closet tug of war rope.  On round 1, “Team Meat and Potatoes (Benchwarmer, Lukie, Groundblind, etc.) destroyed the competition. A not participating Radar, who was doing his own exercises over on the side, was summoned to help the devastated team of weaklings.  Prior to that invitation, I can honestly say Radar is the only Marine I have ever known who does not mix profanity in with his normal speech the way Benchwarmer mixes in Michelob Ultra with all the rest of our manly beers at HH.  I digress.  Anyway, the streak has ended.  When asked to join the team of weaklings, Radar shot off the way Paula Dean does we are doing burpees on the six stating “I don’t give a sh@t about those pathetic losers”.  Who knew Radar was IYAFYL?

For the first time since I can remember, Clinic fashion comments had nothing to do with Bo “Flex Seal” Norris.  Instead, post fashion comments were saved for PaperBoy who evidentially switched out his shoulder carry sandbag for the world’s largest leaky diaper.   Someone said, “Looks like a bird took a shi#t on your shoulder.”  Bird?  Must have been a damn pterodactyl!   Not to be outdone, Benchwarmer (aka Tubetop) steps out of the shadows to steal PaperBoy’s thunder.  Leaky diapers and pterodactyl sh#t would not be the best descriptors.  The front of his Clinic Strong shirt looked like he had been fireman carrying Baby Beasley who had proudly proclaimed he was “blocked up” and hadn’t been to the bathroom in 2 weeks.

Groundblind: Was going to give you a big T-Claps for making it all the way through the workout without conducting a bathroom sprint.  That was before I saw Benchwarmer’s shirt and realized you must have just wiped your a@@ with it.

T-Claps BarFly.  Unlike whoever chose Benchwarmer as a partner, you made an excellent selection in selecting a true world class athlete that is The Bowtie as a partner.  The competition didn’t stand a chance.

Vladimir Putin (aka StepShow):  With hair parted to other side, I almost didn’t recognize you out there.  Anyway, thank you for the help this morning.  The Clinic could use a few more nice guys like you and a few less verbal assassins like Woodchip and Chainsaw............No, not “Gerbil assassins” like Benchwarmer!

Fender:  Good showing today for a Florence guy.  I’ll get you one of our guys Winkles’ number.  He can share his training plan.

Group of Pax Standing around after workout:  Can you believe Farsight still hasn’t discovered that _______ spay painted their blocks neon pink!?  That sh#t is funny as hell!”

Skinny Pete:  Nice job “Stallioning” today.



Happy Hour @ 5:30 ($1 beer)

Fender moving September 2nd

Keep coming and EH’ing

“We were successful in turning EPO into a jerk like us before he moved.”


Little Jack’s Mom

Lucky Charms lost Uncle.  Keep in thoughts and prayers

Radar’s sister-in-law having Polio infused into brain to fight cancer (clinical          trial)

Will and Jessica Vaughn had 9 year old foster child pass



For me, being in church is never been where I feel most spiritual.  I keep going hoping it will inspire and rekindle me, but rarely does it do that.  For me, I feel most spiritual out in nature or going for a jog.  Life is busy, but we all need to take moments to reflect.  When I do that, I feel closest to God.

Because of changes in my life, this past year has been the time in my life where I have seen and felt God the most.  I have shared at different times many things that have happened in the past year as it pertains to my faith that could not have been coincidences.  God is always there, we just have to slow down and listen for him.  An example I gave was from the previous weekend.  My son Everett was in the kitchen.  He was talking about something insignificant and said, “That is a miracle.”  My middle child Ann Frances who reads the Bible on her own every day says, “Everett, God performs miracles every day, we just don’t always know he is performing them.  It’s in The Bible”.  Wow I thought and I reflected on that for a bit.  How true!  Every day in and of itself is a miracle.  God performs miracles for us we do not even realize.

When we slow down, we can see God.  When we slow down, we can hear God speaking to us through others.  Last weekend, God spoke to me through Ann Frances.  Wednesday morning, God spoke to me through Winkles’ closing prayer at The Temple.  Often, if honest, I do not really listen to and definitely do not reflect on the prayer. For whatever reason, that day I did.  That day, God spoke to me through Winkles’ excellent prayer and had an effect on me throughout the day.  Keep coming to F3 so that you can influence others and be influenced by God through the voice of your brothers.  Stop to listen.  Make time to reflect.


Respectfully submitted by Bowtie

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Tour de Clinic

WARMUP:   Hog Ride: In a first ever, The Clinic Warriors fired up their hogs and pedaled over to Brick City parking lot.  We looked like x15 EPO's, but even cooler.  #huffystrong


THE THANG:  Partner up.  Partner 1 did the exercises (Round 1, Round 2, etc.) listed below.  On “go” partner 2 sprinted from far end of Brick City parking lot to near end, up and OVER giant mound of bark chips, and onto bicycle.  From there, partner 2 pedaled bike as fast as he could around softball fields, around football fields (except for a few cheaters), and stopping at playground.  From playground, you put bike on shoulder and ran bike all the way to Brick Pile. Once at Brick Pile, do x10 pull-ups on Judge Judy’s mobile pull-up bar rack.  After completing pull-up, partners flip flopped.
Round 1

  • Tire Suicides (x5 burpees @ each pole)

Round 2

  • Tire To Chest / Bear Crawls: One cone set up in between each light pole.  Bear crawl dragging tire.  At each cone or light pole, flip over on rear, pull tire/rope to you with hands, and proceed bear crawling to next cone or pole.

Round 3

  • Block Slide (entire parking lot) / Run Back / Repeat

Round 4

  • 2 laps with sandbag & 25 burpees
  • 1 lap with sandbag & 25 burpees

Round 5

  • Big 21 (21 merkins / 21 lbc’s, 19/19, 17/17, etc.)




Sprint 1: Sprint length of parking lot

Sprint 2: Sprint length of parking lot

**Race: Starting at fence over by baseball fields, men took off on “go”.  From      there, pax ran OVER bark chip pile, jumped on bike, and sprint pedaled all the    way across parking lot.


“Mosey” (race on bikes) back to AO



MARY:  No time for that stuff today.  I did have time to pass out cold cans of refreshment to my Clinic brothers as a personal thank you for their support and for something they recently did for me and my family.  Most partook.


DEVO:  In my life, my faith has never really wavered. What has wavered has been the time I devote to talk to, thank, and pray to God.  Life gets busy and I get slack.  Be that as it may, it always amazes me when God puts something right in my face to say, “I am here”.  I have shared some of those times before and today used the example of how many times I have opened my devotion book to a random page only to find it addresses something very specific I am dealing with.  Saturday, I kind of had one of those experiences.  My oldest daughter Kaiti has started practicing with the high school cross country team.  Saturday, I had taken her out to a voluntary trail run practice.   Back at the house around lunch time, I somehow ended up with the house to myself.  I do not watch much t.v., but I sat down on the couch and turned on the tube.  When the t.v. came on, I noticed a high school looking girl running.  Turns out, it was a ESPN “E60 Catching Kayla” presentation.  It was about a high school soccer player who in about 9th grade kept falling on the soccer field.  She also noticed some numbness in her feet.  After MRI’s and other tests, the doctors delivered some terrible news.  She had M.S. (Muscular Sclerosis).  She could no longer participate in contact sports like soccer.  It was then that she took up running.

During Kayla’s senior year, she won the North Carolina 4A state championship for outdoor cross country, indoor cross country, and the 1 or 2 mile in track.

When Kayla would run, she could not feel her legs.  When she crossed the finish line, her coach had to catch her because she could not stop herself.  Upon being caught by her coach, she appeared to be in terrible pain as MS symptoms get worse with heat.  Each time, she would cry, scream for help, and go through what looked to be horrible torture until her body cooled.  I wondered why she would continue to run.  Kind of like me, she said it was an escape from a body that was failing her.  When asked what M.S. was to her, she said “It is there and it is a part of my life.  M.S. is what I have, but not who I am. It does not define me and I will not let it keep me from doing the things I love. I run because I don’t know how long I will be able to.”

When I watched this by myself, I cried.  I thought about my daughter Kaiti running and knowing I most likely will not be able to watch her run her senior year of high school.  I thought about M.S. and some of the similarities to ALS.  I thought about a lot.  After watching it, I texted my wife Bobbi and told her when she and Kaiti got home from shopping, I had something I wanted them to watch with me.  When they got home, we all sat on the bed and watched it together.  I teared up a little more then, but held it together better.  The video actually helped me talk with my daughter as I could explain, “This is a little like what Daddy has.”  The video also inspired me as Kayla Montgomery is a strong a person as I have ever seen.  You know, you can sit around feeling sad about the cards life had dealt you or you can keep on push, not use excuses, and making the most of this blessing of a life God has given us.

I encourage each of you to watch this video.  It is amazing.



Wanting to do something different, I dreamed up this most magnificent Q.  In doing so, my only stressor was would I have enough bikes?  For what I had planned, I knew I needed 8-9 bikes and knew I had gathered x8.  Hearing Italian Stallion was out due to a vicious shoulder (breast feeding) injury, I made contact with him the night before to secure the 2 bikes he promised me.  Stallion was heading to Florence for some reason (Oliver Garden, Game Stop, who knows?).  Anyway, he graciously offered to leave his prized bicycle possessions out at his house.  As I pulled up at his house, I could not believe what I saw.  There under the @Shaffer homemade shed were 2 “bikes” with x4 flat tires.  One looked like something my 7 year old son assembled in his room with an assortment of toys and tape.  This fine piece of machinery came complete with only a front break (did not work at all by the way), x2 flat tires that were half as wide as your standard 10 speed tires, and a seat just big enough for the ass of my daughter’s American Girl dolls.  I looked around wondering if I was on one of those hidden video shows.  Had The Stallion Punked me?  Anyway, that death trap of a bike never made it into the back of my truck.  The second flat tire road hog had a seat that spun around and could not be tightened.  Panicking that I would not have enough bikes, I called up my good buddy BarFly who encouraged me to just remove the spinning bicycle seat assuring me Benchwarmer would prefer the seatless bike.  Problem solved!!


T-Claps BarFly for transforming Stallion’s pride flag back into the gold eye candy it was always meant to be.  The L.A. gang lettering would look awesome on the back of our new Clinic Strong motorcycle vests.


T-Claps Woodchip for pulling a page out of Arena football during our end of the workout sprints.  Anticipating my “Go”, ole Woodchip takes off full sprint 15 yards behind the line of scrimmage hitting the start line in full stride right as I say “go”.  Not happy about his defeat, Judge Judy lines up for the next round of sprints riding a bike.  Not sure I’ll ever understand those guys with the win at all cost attitude.  Think those pricks call themselves IYAFYL.


T-Claps to myself on not becoming the latest Bo "The Hyena Lauging" Norris farm animal victim; I was able to fight off a determined Arnold as he grabbed the elastic on my shorts just I was to descend from Barkchip Mountain.  Though he claims he was only cheating as he attempted to beat Bowtie to the Huffys, my heart palpitated with fear as I knew the real reason had to do with his primal instincts and fact that I somehow reminded him of his favorite sheep.


T-Claps Paula Dean.  Before today, I had never seen a man chug x3 beers before 6:15 a.m. and then crush his last can on Winkles head.  True story!  Skinny Pete, got a feeling you are going to get some strange scrips today.  Who knew Cialis helped with chest cough, back ache, head ache, or seasonal allergies?  If you stand at attention for more than 4 hours, call Bo Norris.  He can fix the problem in about 5 seconds.


Speaking of Lil Sweet, you should have seen him riding my little’s boy’s bicycle that Stallion popped the tires on.  You’d have thought it would be too tall for Lil Sweet, but I witnessed his feet dangling in the air just as they were when I recently walked into Splash Pad bathroom and saw him sitting way up high on the big boy potty.


Postal:  Good luck on the Asheville Spartan this weekend.  We are pulling for you.  The good news is Bo Norris says they have no hills like that beast of a mountain I had to climb at P200.


Chainsaw:  Seeing Chainsaw pedal off into the 6:00 darkness for an early departure, I did a double take thinking it might be EPO.  Other than the biking, same exact voice tone, and mouths that have never exclaimed profanity, you two have nothing in common.


Judge Judy:  Although Arena ball champion Woodchip humbled new Clinic star Judge Judy during the sprints, JJ did prove to be pretty damn impressive running with a bike over his shoulder.  JJ picks up bikes easier than Clinic rock stars Fender and BarFly picked up band groupies (like Skinny Pete)  back in the day as they plucked on their six-strings during one of their electric guitar heavy metal solos.


Baby Beasley:  Please keep Baby B in your thoughts and prayers as his washing machine is obviously on the skids forcing him to wear a homemade white tank top with “I love Tubetop” written in lipstick on the back.  While this thing was less hideous than Winkles’ usual wardrobe, it looked 100 times better than the flag pole craft project Stallion pulled on our sacred Clinic flag.


Stallion:  Great job jogging by as we finished up our workout.  Super pace!

Benchwarmer:  Congratulations getting your first “kill” since 2016 P200.


Stallion:  “Killed” by Holt!!  Really?!?!


Lukie (pronounced “Dukie” by StepShow):  You still amaze me on the sprints.  You looked like a combination of Benchwarmer and Stallion only fast.




respectfully submitted by BowTie

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Purpose aka Redemption Q

Temp: Perfect for redemption

YHC messed up pretty bad Tuesday by almost missing his Q. Normally, the Clinic Q sheet feels up pretty quick with Groundblind doing his stupid Qs involving fence jumping, Stepper making us do 1,000 burpees are a warmup or Bowtie creating some stupid merkin/big boy exercise and then making you roll around in the grass between two cones (that actually happened, but I don’t think he wrote a backblast out of fear the other PAX would make fun of him). Anyway, the sheet was blank and I saw the chance to redeem myself and do right by these jerks. I arrived at 0525 and setup the beatdown in 3 minute. Since Woodchip was at home with a “sick tummy” I didn’t think I’d be subjected to a lot of verbal punishment, but the other PAX made up for it. “Whatcha got planned today Judy?” “This another Co-Q?” “Where are your lady shorts?” Whatever, after a quick disclaimer it was time to hustle.




15 IC Windmills

15 IC Reach Thrus (Can pretty much guarantee Barfly will do his little laugh and make a joke around a reach-around)

We counted off by 5s and then made our way over to the parking spaces where the coupons where.

The Thang:

I put each coupon and instructions in its own parking space to make sure that the groups would have enough room to complete the exercises. I laid the weights on the instructions to add some mystery to what we would be doing, but the PAX immediately started moving everything around and looking at the sheets.

I did an almost identical version of this at Convergence, but made some changes to the format. I failed to mention that we would be spending a 7 minute window at each station, but it worked out better that way in the end. After a brief explanation, the PAX all seemed to get it and there were little to no questions. It was a freakin Christmas in July miracle.

The key takeaway was you had to complete ALL the exercises and reps before moving to the purpose at each station.

The first exercise at each station had to be completed with the coupon

Station 1: 20#

200 Tricep ext – 200 merkins – 200 (2 count) Hammers

Purpose:  Complete all the reps and then run the 20# weight around the parking lot 3 times

Station 2: 30#

200 curls – 200 bigboys – 200 (2 count) mountain climbers

Purpose: Complete all the reps and then burpee broad jump the 30# weight to the cone and back

Station 3: 40#

200 overhead press – 200 (2 count) jump lunges – 200 leg raises

Purpose: Complete all reps and then run the 40# sandbag around the parking lot twice

Station 4: 60#

200 chest presses – 200 (2 count) Freddie Mercurys – 200 donkey kicks

Purpose: Complete all reps and then burpee toss the 60# sandbag to the cone and back

Station 5: 80#

200 Squats – 200 (2 count) Flutter kicks – 200 LBCs

Purpose: Complete all reps and then bearcrawl the 80# sandbag to the cone and back


Mary: No time for Mary, we worked until 0610



I have working through a short devotional series that corresponds to Tim Tebow’s book “Shaken: Discover Your True Identity In The Midst Of Life’s Storms”. Tuesday’s reading really hit home with me. (It is a little long, but please take time to read it if you can)

Purpose is one of those words that people have tossed around so much, especially in Christian circles, that it’s hard to know exactly what it means. Is it this one grand event that unfolds when you’re at the right place at the right time?

Is it something that you are passionate about or what you are naturally skilled at doing? Is it doing something that makes you happy? Does it have anything to do with helping others?

While I’m not a theologian or a Bible expert, I believe that your purpose is intertwined with your identity.

A man named Paul, one of the earliest church missionaries, wrote that we are God’s “workmanship.” The Greek word for “workmanship” is poiema, or “poem.” Think about this. Before you were even born, God wrote a beautiful poem about your life.

This masterpiece is about you doing not just meaningless or average things, but good works, wonderful things that make a difference. This means that you are important, significant. You matter!

When life gets tough, when your relationship starts to fall apart, when the cancer comes back, when you can’t beat the addiction, when your kids are running wild, when your parents are driving you crazy, when you feel stuck in monotony or routine, it’s important to circle back to God’s love and the fact that He has an amazing purpose for your life.

I don’t know what your purpose is. Maybe it’s to become a doctor and help cure cancer. Maybe it’s to be a parent and shepherd your family.

Maybe it’s to become an entrepreneur and partner with a nonprofit organization. It might be to help children all over the world or just your own, one million people or just one.

Regardless of how your life will impact others and what that will look like, I just know that when your identity is grounded in God, when you trust in Him, you become part of a bigger picture. And you begin to live out this wonderful poem He has written for your life.



Naked Moleskin:

Not a lot of back-and-forth from what I heard this morning. Everyone had to move pretty quick to finish this exercise and displayed amazing teamwork. After the workout is a different story.

YHC took the Clinic flag last Thursday for my Tuesday Q. It used to be gold, but had some sticky, dark colored stuff all over it. I don’t know what the Churchhill gang has been using it for, but I thought it would be a great time to sand it down and repaint it. I had my wife make some new stickers. She started designing it and I told her I wanted simple, straight line letters. The previous connecting flag pole was two pieces and was rusty, sharp and flimsy. I replaced it with a piece of copper tubing and connected the flag to it. I tried to save the eagle topper (which has been missing a wing for a long time down), but it was a lost cause. Now I don’t want to brag, but I thought this thing was looking pretty dang good and I felt great about it. Fast-forward to after the workout.

Barfly examined at the flag and looked at me like I slapped his child. “Where’s my d@mn Eagle Stallion?!” “Where are my Old English letters?”  “WTF is with this font?” “Is that done in crayon?!”

(Barfly yelling at YHC)

Now all the other PAX join in…long story short, Arnold aka Lil Sweet is going to buy a plasma cutter this week so we can cover it in diamond plate and put a pair of balls on top that he has been “saving for the right occasion”…pretty sure I heard that right.

Thank you guys for allowing me to lead twice in one week. Although, it seems that most of the PAX don’t refer to the Q sheet at all judging by the looks on 50% of their faces when I stepped to the center of the circle.

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Life’s Ups and Downs

Temp: Not sure, but it did rain

Ever since last Monday at my WILDLY popular Brick City Q, YHC shoulders have been giving him some trouble. I laid out a few days last week trying to recover, but finally decided to take a Q and make it work for me. I put a lot of thought into planning a beatdown that would work for my injuries, all while weaving lessons into the exercises that would be apparent in the DEVO. I took a lot of time on this. (Also, spruced up the Clinic Flag because it looked like Churchhill had spilled jello shots all over it…at least I hope that is why it was sticky to touch). Long story short, I almost pulled a “Wall-E” and overslept my Q. I arrived 2 minutes late to see that the group had moseyed over to the brick pile and Judge Judy was picking up my slack. After the PAX got finished calling me names, we moseyed over to the 400M track and got it going.

The Thang:

Hartsville Hammers (2 counts) – 10, 20, 30, 20, 10

Big Boys - 10, 20, 30, 20, 10

LBCs - 10, 20, 30, 20, 10

Freddie Mercurys (2 count) - 10, 20, 30, 20, 10

Flutter Kicks (2 counts) - 10, 20, 30, 20, 10

Each exercise would last for 7 minutes and between each set, you took a lap.

Example: You would complete 10 Hartsville Hammers, run a lap, complete 20 hammers, run a lap etc.

Because YHC was late, we were only able to do 3/5 exercises.

Mary? Since I didn’t do a warmup, I didn’t do any Mary. We left the track at 0607 so there wasn’t enough time after having to wait on the six which was Arnold AKA Lil Sweet.

Naked Moleskin:

The road into Byerly Park is like a “walk of shame”. I dreaded turning into the entrance and having to drive down the road and having to imagine what hurtful and cruel things Woodchip and Winkles would be saying about me.

It was the first time I’ve ever seen the Clinic member unify against something and be so supportive. They all made sure to tell Judy, “Great Q!” and crap like that.

Baby Bo AKA Arnold AKA Lil Sweet wasted no time taking off his shirt once he started doing laps. I even heard him ask Barfily to going his shirtless running club and requested Benchwarmer to be the team photographer. How many teams have rejected/replaced you now Bench? I’m sure your luck will turn around.

Woodchip is a jerk…nothing new there.



I really did want my workout and DEVO to feel connected. Here are some points I wanted to make.

Life has its up’s and down’s

  • We worked one group of muscles over and over (attacks made on our spiritual walk usually involve the enemy (the Devil) poking and prodding at the one thing he knows will lead to us doing something non-Godly. For me, it is typically financial based)
  • We worked towards a peak and then down the other side (This was mean to represent Life’s hardships. We must run at these full force knowing that God has our back)
  • I hoped that everyone pushed hard towards the peak and the down slope got easier.

These are some of my favorite verses in scripture. It plainly tells us that God is always thinking of us and has bigger plans for us than we can imagine. However, most people just cut off at verse 11. There is a call to action after that. We must actively seek him.

Jeremiah 29:11The Message (MSG)

10-11 This is God’s Word on the subject: “As soon as Babylon’s seventy years are up and not a day before, I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

12 “When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen.

13-14 “When you come looking for me, you’ll find me.

“Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” God’s Decree.


There is a good chance that any story Bowtie has about the conversations that took place after the workout are completely fabricated by his own twisted sense of humor. Believe nothing he has to say.

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Is time up yet?


  • x25 SSH
  • 2 lap mosey around parking lot



Run to Cone 1, do the exercises, bear crawl back to start, pick up sandbag and run to fence and back.  Then, you run to cone 2 repeating the pattern.  Cones 3 and 4 were graciously spaced from start point to make for a very long bear crawl.  This activity was continuous for 30 minutes.

Cone 1: 40 burpees (round 1), 40 mountain climbers each leg (round 2)

Cone2: 30 burpees (round 1), 30 mountain climbers each leg (round 2)

Cone 3: 20 burpees (round 1), 20 mountain climbers each leg (round 2)

Cone 4: 10 burpees (round 1), 10 mountain climbers each leg (round 2)



Partner Merkins:  Partner 1 put legs across legs of partner 2.  Both men went down and up on Q’s cadence (x25)

Sit-Up Type Thing: Right leg bent and left leg straight.  Right hand on bent knee ankle and left had behind head.  Up on Q’s cadence touching elbow to bent knee (x25)

Partner Merkins:  Partner 2 puts legs across legs of partner 1 .  Both men went down and up on Q’s cadence (x25 holding last one halfway down for slow 10 count)

Sit-Up Type Thing:  Same as before on opposite side (x25)

Iron Cross:  slow 10 count



A big than you to all the Clinic pax who allowed me to interrupt “Story Time With Groundblind” to actually begin the workout.  Yep, ole Groundblind had everyone on the edge of their poop buckets in the parking lot and then in the warm-up circle as he told about last week’s GoRuck Heavy.  The man crushes held by the pax is pathetic.

  • Skinny Pete, “Groundblind, did you know you are awesome before you did this?”
  • Fender, “Groundblind, can I get my picture taken with you?”
  • Winkles, “Groundblind, think you could speak at Rotary?”
  • Groundblind, “One guy from Columbia finished the HTL. He was old as hell like Paperboy.”

As guys were standing around talking after workout, a naked chested Woodchip pulls up in his truck.  Stallion notices a large water jug in back and asks, “Is there water in there?”   Woodchip responds, “Yea, you want some?” and then proceeds to drive off. This prompts Stallion to spew profanity as he exclaims, “What a dick!”

During the devo, there were several guys who tried to interrupt my concentration.  As if the circle wide chatter were not rude enough, nothing was quite as disruptive as Stallion’s ass cutter shorts.  Evidentially in the Ruck world they are called “Ranger panties.  Looked like Speedos to me.  Chainsaw called them “nightmare fuel”.  As those things barely covering Stallion’s nuts continued interrupting the start of my devo, The Stallion (aka Milkmaid) begins talking about how we went to the Arcade Barber Shop and they cut off all his hair.  To that, Woodchip immediately responds, “It looks like they cut off your shorts too.”

Stepshow to Stallion: “Got the name of that barber?   I’m contemplating getting a flattop.”

I don’t know what the opposite of a t-claps is, but Paula Dean gets one of those for his new “Team Me” mentality.  More so that even usual, Judge Judy takes off like a rocket.   Big Paula D was having none of it today bearcrawling with a reckless abandonment as he knocked over all competition and even rammed Judge Judy into the fence like he was some sort of damn hockey player.   Not sure where he picked up this new mentality, but I blame Winkles who as we all know is a win at all cost type of guy.  As I reminded the mad baker (Paula D) that we all stay together, his words will forever be etched in my brain…..”F the six b@t#h”.  Hope you’re happy Wnkles.

So disgusted with Paula Dean’s Un-Clinic like competitive pusher attitude, Postal  decides to leave early and re-evaluate whether or not this whole Clinic thing was a bad idea.

Speaking of disgust, Chainsaw just shook his head as he watched Postal drive off into the darkness.

Benchwarmer was a big ole fartsacker today.  He has however been attaching gay bar photos to Clinic board with hurtful immature comments about YHC.  Today, he was absent.   Arnold was absent too.  Benchwarmer out, Arnold out, gay bar??  Not jumping to conclusions, but I’ll let you guys be the judge.

Lukie:   After hooking up (literally) with Benchwarmer at the beach, you return to town and fail to show.   I know, you think back to what you’ve done and are embarrassed, remorseful, disgusted.  Come on man!  What happens at the beach stays at the beach.  Besides, as Arnold says, “It’s not gay if you only try it once.”

Guys, please keep Radar in your thoughts.  I am hearing he had some sort of procedure done to his abdominal region.  I am guessing a 6 pack reduction.

Sucked not having EPO there today.   Also missed BarFly who says he is “out of town”.  Evidentially, Churchill Drive is now considered its’ own town.  Pinocchio and Lucky Charms are serving as co-Mayors with the goal of developing the same impressive physique as the mayor of Hartsville.



Happy Hour 5:30!

Though we did not realize it until after the workout, a big congratulations to Woodchip and his family as they are expecting a child in January.  Anyone who knows Leon Murph knows that will be one lucky child to have Leon as father.   Congratulations friend!


DEVO:  I stated off by explaining something that happened approximately 2 years ago with F3.  We did some sort of halfway and hold merkin contest at Convergence.  Once you couldn’t hold it anymore, you were out.   Somehow, I was the last one in that day.  Time flies. Just look at pictures of your children growing up and you can see that.

Two years later, things have changed.  Life happens.  If we did a merkin contest today, I said I would probably be the first one out. To that, Winkles says, “Nah, pretty sure it would be me.”  I strongly agreed with that and moved on.

2.5 years ago, I worked out on my own and had to sign up for things like 5K’s to gage my fitness level.  2.5 years later, it is gaged every time I show up to The Clinic.  Sometimes, you can show up with your A good game and still get your ass cut.  2.5 years ago, I had social acquaintances, but not a lot of guys I would call friends.   Now, I do.   2.5 years ago, I was not around men who shared their faith and led by example that helped influence me to be a better man and stronger Christian.

F3 is good for us all. We all know how easy it is to fall off.  We miss just a few workouts and all of a sudden we are outside of the inside jokes, out of routine, and away from these supports and influences all of us need.  If you know anyone who has fallen off, reach out. Get them back.

Yesterday, I was driving in the truck with my family.   My wife was talking about her toe she thinks she has broken.  I told her she needed to soak it in ice water.  My 7 year old son Everett  then says, “When are we going to do that thing again where we dump ice water on our head?” Immediately, my wife grabs my hand thinking that would upset me.  It did not.  I even made a joke about it.  Part of the reason it did not upset me was because I now have a group of men/friends as a support system.  I have something in my life (F3) that like family brings me joy.  Without this positive outlet/part of my life, that comment from my son might have upset me as we did the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge a few years ago not knowing a thing about ALS or even imagining me or someone we know would be affected by it.


Respectfully submitted by Bowtie

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