Thank You, My Brothers
It’s not easy for YHC to ask for help. I always try to figure a way to do things for myself, even if it means that I, or those around me, suffer. Call it stubbornness, pig-headedness, whatever. I am sure I am not the only member of the F3 PAX to feel this way.
About 2 ½ months ago, the night before the spring USMC Mud Run, my father had a massive stroke. We found him barely responsive at around 1:30am and he was rushed to the Carolina Pines, and then on to McLeod in Florence. We were told that since he had Alzheimer’s, he wasn’t a candidate for surgery to repair the bleed on his brain. All they could do was keep him comfortable until he passed. I knew one day I would be faced with tough decisions, but I didn’t think it would be this soon.
Immediately, upon letting the Hartsville PAX know the situation, they started praying for me and my family, even with all the excitement surrounding the Mud Run. In the days that followed, many of my F3 brothers called, texted, and stopped by the hospital to check on me and pray with me. I was a little surprised by the number of PAX that attended my father’s funeral the following week.
Then came an even bigger shocker for me. I found out that 9 guys had volunteered to bring food by the house over the next 3 weeks so that my mother (who lives next door) or my M or I didn’t have to worry about cooking and could just deal with our loss and the fact that my M was about to give birth to my second 2.0.
I don’t know why, but I really struggled with the guys bringing food by the house. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel gracious, but please remember my opening statement: “It’s not easy for YHC to ask for help.” I felt like I was perfectly capable of cooking dinner and that I was putting someone else out by having them bring supper over. Then I dealt with feeling guilty for feeling that way.
I finally talked about it with a F3 Conway PAX that I work with, Smokey Bear. He said, “Well Herb, you know, you’ve got to look at it like this. Those guys are getting enjoyment out of helping you, so you need to relax and receive their help.” Those words really made me think. Why am I so stubborn? Why can’t I just let folks help me? Why should I rob someone else’s good feelings just because of my ego? I finally prayed about it and came to peace with it. I should have done that to start with, but again, I am stubborn and refuse even to bring problems to God, because obviously I don’t need help (sarcasm).
My intent with this long ramble was to simply say “thank you!” Not just for the calls and texts. Not just for coming by to see me. Not just for bringing food by the house. So, thank you to all the PAX, especially those 9 who brought food by, or signed up to do so (all listed above), that taught me how to be humble and gracious. You taught me that needing help is ok. And that admitting that you need help can be difficult, but is sometimes necessary. You all lifted me up during a challenging month in my life, and for that I am eternally grateful. I am proud to call you my F3 brothers and my brothers in Christ.